being a young mom

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So in 2003 the average age to have a child was 25.2 up significantly from the average age in 1970 when it was 21.4. Well, I did not follow this trend and in 2006, I had my first child right before my 22nd birthday. These are the 5 positives and 5 negatives to being a young mom. Parenting is a challenge at any age I believe and there are good and bad things about becoming a mom so young.

Positives of being a young mom

one

although having a baby is possible throughout the 30’s and 40’s it is in the early 20’s when a woman’s reproductive systems are at its peak. Making getting pregnant easier and lowering the chance of miscarriage (though it did take  me over a year to conceive and I had a miscarriage at 21 so age is no guarantee)

two

I would say health and life expectancy for the mother. Having my daughter young made her only 3 when I had my stroke, So although I experienced a major medical crisis in her childhood. Most young mothers wouldn’t have major health problems in their 20’s and 30’s while their children are growing up. If they do, being young usually helps recovery from these issues.

three

You get to help your friends who have kids after you. I have a 7-year-old and the majority of my friends my age or older are having their first or second so I’ve been through all these baby stages and toddler stages before.

four

Even though my daughter wants a sibling and we plan on giving her at least one I think it’s been really nice to have her all by herself and really get to spend a lot of one on one time with her these last seven years. She won’t remember all of it but she will probably remember being an only child. Whereas I don’t. My mom had me first then one sister when I was 2.5 and another sister when I was 3.5.

five

I really enjoy the fact that Isabella gets to enjoy having grandparents that are young. My parents had me young as well so they are really young grandparents and even my grandmas are still young enough for her to spend time with. She actually spent the night at my grandma, her great grandma’s house last night. My husband’s parents are a little older than mine but still young enough to do things with her. Depending on when we have our next children these grandparents may not be able to do as much with them as they got to do with Bella because of age and health.

negatives of being a young mom

one

Financial issues- We made a lot of bad decisions when it came to over buying when she was little because we were just young and immature. We hadn’t saved up for a baby we just wanted one so we had one.

two

Typically in your early 20’s you don’t have your life and career together. We certainly did. We were married and had jobs but we had to move into my parent’s house during my pregnancy and we have had a lot of changes in our career goals and path over the years.

three

You get a lot of people who will assume your pregnancy was accidental, even when it wasn’t and none of their business if it was or not. They are also not always supportive of the fact that you wanted to be parents.

four

You are torn between the fact that you love being a mom but being a mom means being responsible and putting someone else first and you see all the fun other 20 somethings having. I’m glad now all my high school  friends are having babies so I can see that on Facebook and not as many fun trips and things like I was seeing when I had a cranky two-year-old. Though as a positive my child now is a lot easier at 7 to take care of then a crying baby. It’s a give and take .

five

Especially in the beginning when I was only 22-24 I felt like some family and friends were waiting for me to fail. For it to be too hard or for me to not be a good parent. The thing is that it was hard and lots of mistakes were made but can’t you say that about being a parent at any age?
So there is my list of ups and downs of being a young mom. I’m almost 30 now so future children will be born in my 30’s and at that point, I can know what it’s like on the other side. Being a mom a few years older than the average age. I imagine it’s a mix of positives and negatives as well.