I can hardly believe it but I have been a mom now for almost a decade. It seems like my daughter was just born but somehow she will be ten in October. The years just fly by. She is a pretty amazing kid and I’m quite proud of the job her dad and I have done raising her. She’s an amazing girl but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some parenting mistakes that I’ve made along the way.
1.Parenting out of Guilt
This started after I had my stroke when my daughter was 3. I felt so bad with how much her life was disrupted and the pain she went through that I started letting her get away with things and giving her things out of guilt.
Going to therapy a lot at the time to deal with my stroke helped me to realize what I was doing and that it wasn’t helping my daughter to parent her out of guilt. There are lots of reasons parents give into their children because of guilt. Parents who are going through a divorce or separation often do this. Also it’s quite common anytime parents are going through a major life change like moving, new schools, new siblings and their child’s life is being changed a lot.
2. Not following through on chores
Here is an example of a parenting mistakes that I’ve made since she was a toddler and am still to be honest making today. I’m not good with following through especially when it comes to making her do her chores. It’s an area that is constantly being worked on and that we are trying to get at better at all the time.
She has chores that are age appropriate and she knows how to do them. I just am always forgetting to have her do them. I’m great with making sure she picks up her clothes and shoes and puts away dishes or trash. It’s the other chores that I’m trying to get better at remembering to have her do.
3. Too much electronics
This is another mistake that I’m still guilty of but am trying to slowly change for the better. We let her have too much screen time. This I know is something that many parents are guilty of doing as well but is still something I’m not proud of and am trying to cut back on in her life. Between TV, video games, the ipad and playing with our phones it really adds up to a lot of screen time.
We are real careful with monitoring what she watches and has access to online. There are of things that aren’t appropriate for her to see at 9 so I’m very aware of what she is watching. I just want to cut back on how much she’s watching.
4. Modeling negative behaviors
I think that probably the main reason for mistakes 2 and 3 is that her dad and I are not the best examples of getting things done around the house and not having too much screen time.
I’ve realized that a lot of her behaviors are because she has watched us do the same thing. So I’ve been trying to be more aware of my own behaviors so that I can be a better example to her.
How I feel about the parenting mistakes that I’ve made
I think that in reality the parenting mistakes that I’ve made have been pretty minor. I know that there are more parenting mistakes that I’ve made and that I will make more in the years ahead. We all do things wrong as parents and none of us will ever be the perfect parent.
As parents we just need to do our best to raise our kids and to do more right then we do wrong. I think that if we do that then all of our kids will end up being alright. So if you’ve made mistakes as a parent, know that you aren’t alone. We all have but for the most part nothing you or I have done is permanent. So just love your kid and try to keep doing better as a parent. That’s all we can really do.